The world may not understand, but you do. You, the empath, know it all too well; the darkness that comes from having this unexplainable gift. A pain and sadness that is unique to those who feel every vibration of energy around them as if a million fingers were plucking the strings of their soul.
You are the person others often turn to when they need to release their burdens, and, for this, you are seen as a grounded, reliable character. Yes, you are sensitive, but you seem to cope so well with the emotional turmoil that is thrust upon you.
Little do these people know that, on the inside, you are a raging ball of contrasting feelings, all muddled together to form an incomprehensible and never-ending noise that you struggle to silence.
Sometimes it is so overwhelming that it feels like an invisible hand is clasped tight around your neck; a pressure so intense that it takes every ounce of your strength not to suffocate.
The sudden and negative shifts in energy are the worst because they come totally out of the blue and offer you little time to prepare. They hit you like a freight train, propelling you into a spiral of confusion, desolation, and distress.
Sadly, it’s the negative energy that you feel the most, and it’s only made worse by the world you see around you. The suffering, the heartache, and the malevolent forces that cause it weigh down on you far more than the good, and the benevolent can lift you up. Society just wasn’t designed for people like you.
Inside your heart, the feelings are only ever felt deeply and with great intensity; there is no middle ground, no volume dial with which to dampen the senses. It is both mentally and physically exhausting to live your life in an almost constant state of heightened emotion, but you hold it together…mostly…to give a composed, if sometimes a little awkward, appearance.
It can be a lonely existence as an empath; even if you are surrounded by people, the mixing of energies can leave you feeling lost. You become unsure of where you end and where others begin, and this blurring of personal boundaries only serves to dilute your own sense of being.
Sadly, this feeling of isolation can drive you into the hands of people who seek to take advantage of you. Your longing for an identity, and to be liked or loved for who you are, can see you fall into the traps set by manipulators and abusers. They prey on sensitive people like you who want to feel that sense of belonging.
You, being the kind and loving soul that you are, do not see the dangers that lurk all around. You are blind to the malicious intentions of those who are devoid of feeling, and in your attempt to help them, you risk becoming embroiled in their games.
Yet you can’t resist the temptation to try and help others; it is your very nature to turn your attention to the ills and needs of those in trouble because you somehow feel that helping them will help yourself.
You don’t see the burden that this level of selflessness is putting on your life, or if you do, you resist the temptation to acknowledge it for fear of once again being forced to face your own demons. You prefer to walk through the streets hunched with the weight of the world pressing down on you, rather than walk freely and see your own pain and hurt ahead of you.
This avoidance does you no good in the long term because sooner or later your heart and mind go into spasm, driven to the brink by a failure to address the real issues. By delaying the start, you simply dig a deeper pit into which you willingly throw yourself to escape the outside world. You withdraw from everything and cocoon yourself physically and emotionally so that you may delve deep within and tackle your underlying wounds.
Your agony during this time is great; how could it be any less in a person who experiences emotions in such a deep and profound way? Your torment is such because your heart metaphorically rips apart as you struggle with all the pain that resides there – both yours and that which you have absorbed.
Speaking of hearts, you aren’t always able to give yours fully to a loving partner, and this leaves you with some sadness and regret. But to open up fully would mean to experience the sheer, unbridled intensity of love in its rawest form. You just don’t know if you can handle such a powerful force, and you doubt whether a partner would be able to cope if you tried to let it all in.
So you shield yourself somewhat, never showing your entire hand; you hold something back to prevent potential future heartache from destroying you completely. Yet you long for a time when you can embrace love in all its passion and force, because you know in your heart that this is what you truly want.
You shouldn’t let yourself be defeated by your powerful, yet challenging gift. There is hope….there is always hope.
The dark side needn’t win out forever. You can, with some practice, and with the support of those who love you, learn to cope with the piercing severity of the emotions you experience. Your pain and hurt can be eased, and you can learn to recognize which feelings are yours and which come from external energy sources.
You needn’t live with your guard constantly up; there is a way to let others in without becoming overwhelmed by what you feel. It comes through acceptance, earnest effort, and the sheer will and determination not to let your prized quality become your lifelong prison.